The Pelvic Hologram
Power surges through a culture when women heal their pelvises, stop running from their grief, and find inner -> outer alignment. This is how we know our Medicine.
As women, our outer creations are a hologram of our inner pelvic aliveness.
When we bury our pain and trespass, try to “just move on, forget about it, don’t look back” … the hologram gets distorted. The pelvis goes dark.
Going inward to repair the soft animal body - connecting the feminine terrains of the womb and heart - we can melt the frozen, numb, atrophied, desensitized and hardened parts of us. The pelvis becomes once again, light and vibrant. A living pelvis.
It is a rite of passage, and many women don’t come to it until they are being pushed up against an intense health concern. Faced with the current allopathic medical system’s calloused approaches of ‘just cut it out’ or ‘just take this pill’ - women sense somewhere deep inside themselves a HELL NO.
It’s that hell no that makes them look up, look around, and find alternatives. It comes from a lost part of them, the feminine yang, the mama bear, the urge to fight for themselves and their vital organs.
My work, my prayer for women, is to realize our potential - the power of an aligned hologram inside and out - as our birthright.
I guide the way with my own story of overcoming trespass, these codes move through my hands into their bodies. I listen to their laments, we breathe and growl the tension and armor out of their bodies together. Grief is wailed out, wrung out, witnessed, and released.
It’s fucking wild. As it should be. As we should be.
Eventually we come into the living body fully, embracing all parts, all stories, all pasts. And then the real designing begins, from a coherence within, what does she really want to create?
Make no mistake, it’s not easy work, but the strength it takes is exactly the proof we need to trust ourselves and our deservedness.
I’m witnessing miracles on the daily, women are igniting, so watch out. Power surges may occur.
The whole medical system seems built upon imperatives to weaken women, take our vitality, make us doubtful of our powers to heal and make life.
Women are powerful as fuck, especially after they or their families have been wronged. And we have. Just follow the money.
If you are ready to heal the hologram - I’m here.
When we heal our nervous systems enough to hold our own pain, we can re-engage empathy. If we don’t have the capacity to hold our own pain, how can we hold others in their pain? I think this is why the world seems to have become so callous.
In the West, we are lacking in rights of passage at adolescence that challenge us to understand who we are and what we’re capable of. Without such opportunities to engage ourselves in meaningful breaking-down and breaking-open, how do we learn to hold our pain? How do we map out our own methods for overcoming? And hence, how do we learn what our medicine for the world really is?
Without elders to hold the edges, how can we truly explore boundaries and limitlessness safely? We can’t. I think, because we are wired for this kind of challenge to know ourselves - deep down everyone yearns for this - we are drawn to hardship and struggle, until we face it head on and emerge like phoenixes, accompanied by our self-knowing.
That’s why we go back to the wrong guy again and again. That’s why we make choices that seem self-defeating, why we give our power away to idols of authority… to challenge ourselves, to finally build up the momentum to change. It’s a messy process, without rights of passages and elders to guide us. This is why we can never judge others for their mistakes.
The way I see it, there are systems of power that have risen to capitalize on our disarray. Everywhere I look, the evils of greed and patriarchy have captured previously well-meaning organizations and institutions. My beef, as usual, is with western medicine and allopathic gynecology.
Women are often pathologized, medicated, cut into and otherwise interfered with during our most vulnerable reproductive moments, like menarche, birth, postpartum, and perimenopause. Instead of empathy and compassion, women often get contempt and disbelief in the doctors office, hospital, or other ‘healthcare’ setting.
Women’s reproductive rights of passage portals get fucked with. Women don’t know who they are or what they are capable of, because no elders guided them - and instead hierarchies sought to control them.
So women’s portals often end up traumatic. This is such a failure of culture. We have alarming mother mortality rates, worst of any developed country despite substantial health care spending, and they’re on the rise. Western medicine is failing women, the very people who give us life.
We don’t have to chop wood or carry water anymore. We don’t have to lean on our neighbors for survival the same way as we did for the majority of our evolution. We have unhealthy notions of self-reliance. So when shit hits the fan, and we need help there’s nowhere to turn, but to imposed authority. To the hospital we go.
This makes us weak in the soul. It’s not in our nature. We are meant to be challenged and face our community while doing it, we are wired to be seen by others and seen well, it’s imperative to know who we are. The full-length mirror and social media avatar are no replacement. This augmented reality is a poor substitute for being beheld in community and is breeding sociopathy and disconnection from earth and each other.
This self-obsession is making our culture a very difficult environment for empathy to thrive. It’s making it easier to distract ourselves from our pain, grief, fear, and anger… but to what end?
Oh yes… ANGER. So many women are literally vibrating with contained rage on my table that it takes us weeks or months to carve out the space in the body to actually release it. I think it’s because anger has never felt safe to most women. It’s been a source of trauma, mishandled anger caused our caretakers and lovers to lash out. It caused us deep harm. We never want to hurt our babies or baby’s that way, so it goes into lockdown.
Lockdown requires the body to tense. To hold. To armor it up and lock it away. The locked away anger only festers, fatigues the body, causes the body to grow extra tissues to hold more anger - hence the weight gain, cysts, fibroids, masses, cancer…
The armoring causes the heart to weaken, be less vulnerable to pain yes, but also less capable of love! This armoring causes the uterus or ‘life mother’ to slowly become hard and immobile - so birth is difficult, menstruation is difficult, fertility is difficult. Then the body tries to grow new uteruses because this one isn’t working, and I believe that is what is REALLY going on with irregular periods, endometriosis, and tissue growths etc.
These irregularities are intelligent problem solving attempts from bodies and nervous systems that are in need of true whole body healing. They aren’t just a pathology to cut out of the body. That’s missing the message. That is malpractice.
And 600,000 hysterectomies per year, mostly unnecessary. The Life Mother of a woman, of a people, cut out. I cannot tell you about the regret. It’s buried deep for some women, and others it comes flooding out the moment I lay my hands upon their empty wombs.
Women who have been told a lie, who believed in the healthcare system, in their doctors and nurses and surgeons… I mean how could this whole establishment with all these fancy diagnostics and impressive tools have it all wrong? How could these massive institutions of education have it all wrong?
It’s a lot to fathom, but what if your body is right and they are wrong? What would it take to reclaim your autonomy? What right of passage are you willing to undergo, in order to learn to trust yourself finally?
It’s that secret regret that is the most painful, because women knew. They doubted the diagnosis deep down, and then didn’t listen to their own bodies. The fell into the fear and urgency trap that allopathy often uses to coerce.
We navigate through the grief and remorse together, and it seems there is much hope... but then that anger that rises from deep inside, from being manipulated, lied to, maimed… Often well meaning individuals don’t know that they serve a system designed by greed and for the procurement of vital reproductive organs. Oh yes, you better believe they are harvesting these placentas and uteruses.
What do we do, women, when we have no trustworthy and safe place to go, no elders and no community to help us heal, to help us hold all that grief and anger?
Often the only way the body can cope is by locking down. By storing it all away. But that only works for so long. The reservoir is only so deep. It begins seeping up, spurting out like acid, and we lash out at our loved ones. The ones who tried to help.
I’m here to tell you, there are MANY of us who have seen the truth, who are fighting against this machine of profit, who are holding it down for true whole-being healing. We are here.
When the body can’t hold on any longer we often find ourselves up against a wall, our bodies begging us address it. This can look like a health crisis where women collapse, and fall into the arms of allopathy, limp with fear.
Or it can evoke a battle cry.
In the book The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk says:
As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself… The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage.
Women, this is not meant to shake you into anything but awakening. To help you see that there are more answers. To bolster your bravery.
I walked this path away from a system that sought to destroy my body, my vitality, to steal my organs. I’ve helped many women learn to know themselves and their bodies, as allies instead of antagonists. When we are united within ourselves like that, the hologram within and without aligns. Power returns.
I’m here for the power surges as women come back to their medicine.
really powerful and beautiful as usual. i find myself getting riled up with you as i read.