Bathroom Stuff: Advice You Never Got in Health Class
Vitality tips for health and prevention, from Auntie Sarah at The Living Pelvis
In my practice, I have a mental checklist of things I advise women on concerning their bathroom habits. I say these tips over and over and I sometimes wonder, did I say it all? This list is as much for you as it is for me ;)
We are going to talk about poop and pee. Okay? You cool? I talk about this stuff all day long, and I no longer have a gauge for what’s PC anymore, so you’ll have to excuse me. I’ll just be diving right in here!
I will do my best to share my reasoning, and not just state my opinion as fact. I’m obsessed with this work and over the decades, much of my knowledge has congealed into an indistinguishable blob of education and training. I won’t always be able to cite specific studies, but if you need one in particular, just ask.
Let’s first take stock of our earliest memories of Bathroom Stuff.
(TW: Some of these memories might be a little upsetting. If that young girl version of you needed an ally and didn’t have one, YOU could be her ally. Today, as you remember, I invite you to just hold her hand or give her a hug.)
Okay, think back to your first bleed. Did you have adequate preparation from loving adults? Did you have a ‘kit’ in your bag already? Did your school stock menstrual supplies in the girl’s bathroom? Did your friends have pads? Where were you in the cascade of your peers getting theirs? How did you feel? Were you scared, embarrassed, or ashamed? Did you know what to do? In other words, were you prepared or were you ad-libbing on the fly?
I invite you to earnestly take a moment here to check in with your maiden.
Now, think back further, what do you remember about pooping and peeing as a child? What did your family call these pelvic functions? Were you comfortable going? Were you ever rushed or barged in on? What do you know about how your parents potty trained you? Did you have trouble with accidents? How were you treated? What about at camp, or sleepovers, or school? Did you tend to have constipation when you were in strange places? Did you get diarrhea from a certain Grandma’s cooking (and suspect it wasn’t the food, but how you felt being around her?)
Again, take a short moment, just a few breaths into your body as you discover what you remember.
Bathroom Stuff is usually interwoven with emotion and linked to early childhood experiences.
The parasympathetic system, (the rest and digest response of the autonomic nervous system) which controls bodily functions such as menstruation, urination, and defecation, stimulates the muscles that empty the uterus, bladder, and colon when activated. Thus, peace results in elimination, and chaos prohibits it.
To this day, I get constipated when I have to rush in the morning or when I’m stressed. Stress triggers the sympathetic nervous system - basically the opposite of what my body needs to eliminate. So, I know by now that my morning routines are a crucial part of my day.
All three female pelvic organs fill and empty as their primary function. If women and girls get stressed and don't know how to down-regulate their nervous systems (or that it may even be necessary), then all three suffer from stagnancy which inhibits function.
How many of you have difficulty with digestion, menstruation, or elimination? In my office it’s 9/10 women. It’s rampant and it’s not something to just ignore. Looking to our earliest imprints around these pelvic functions, and having compassion for our young maidens can help us recognize what we need today to support a thriving Living Pelvis.
Behind the Scenes Bathroom Stuff - Metabolic Health
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the upstream conversation your body is having with the nutrients you ingest. Metabolism and it’s role in female reproductive health is a new-ish rabbit hole for me. I’m currently readying two books on it and wearing a continuous glucose monitor to learn about my body. This essay is about the end of the story - elimination - but I thought I’d put a teaser in here that there’s more to come about the beginning of the story! Books I’m reading are Casey Mean’s GOOD ENERGY and Lara Briden’s METABOLISM REPAIR FOR WOMEN. What are you all learning about metabolism for women?
To insult someone’s intelligence you might say, “He’s Full of Shit”.
Well, this isn’t a coincidence. When I haven’t pooped in the morning like usual, I am not on my A Game. I am grumpy, irritable, foggy headed, unfocused, and sometimes I get headaches. That’s because the toxicity that sits in my colon too long gets reabsorbed… and I get dumber, see. Yes! Can you relate?
Elimination happens in a funnel-like design. By the time the food you eat makes it to the colon and waste material is ready to be released, it’s got some serious toxicity on board. You want to make sure the bottom of the funnel is moving! When this doesn’t happen, it is like an LA traffic jam that backs up for miles and miles. The route gets sluggish, toxicity lingers around, and everybody’s late for work.
Thus, transit time through the digestive system is important to prioritize. You can check yours by eating a bunch of beets and watching how long it takes for them to move through your bowels. If it’s been so long that, when you see red in the toilet, you think you’re bleeding internally and rush to the ER… then that’s too long. A good transit time is between 12-16 hours.
Don’t rush me. (I’ve made that mistake before)
If colon transit time is slow, you’re running late for work and you haven’t pooped yet… well, now you’re dealing with consequences. One of the worst things you can do right now is push to eliminate. Definitely take Taylor Dayne’s advice. And if you like, here’s mine.
Bathroom Stuff: Tips on Peeing
Don’t hold your pee. Don’t push your pee. Don’t rush whilst peeing. Don’t hover. Just take a break, sit down, relax your belly and adductors, and let go. Take a few deep breaths. Let this be a moment of peace. Rock your hips back and forth some to release all the liquid so that when you stand up you don’t get that extra little dribble.
What are you wiping with? Dude, I started using sustainable TP from a company called Who Gives A Crap and it’s been a great decision. Recycled & sustainable materials, reforestation projects, 50% profits donated, plus it’s delivered. It’s good to know I’m not wiping toxic bleach and solvents on my very delicate parts, ya know?
Start a morning hydration routine with salt & lime in the morning. YES, BEFORE COFFEE. (In fact, I would add that coffee is dehydrating and isn’t helping you with pooping either. But you already know that, don’t you? I won’t preach then.) Squeeze half a lime into 16oz filtered/distilled warm water, add 1/4tsp ancient seabed salt (and fulvic minerals) — imbibe. Optional, add a tsp chia seeds (don’t forget to rinse the acidity from your teeth to preserve your enamel). Your body needs salt and minerals to absorb the water you drink, otherwise you’re flushing it through and demineralizing your body. This is a great way to provide electrolytes first thing in the morning.
Notice if you feel rushed to make it to the loo. This is a type of incontinence is called URGE incontinence, and it’s usually a symptom of excessive pelvic tone or hypertonicity. The tone of your pelvic tissues could be over-achieving due to many factors: pelvic injury (including during labor), chronic and acute stress, over-exercise, trespass history, anxiety, etc. This is not normal and can be resolved.
Notice how long you urinate (10 seconds is a full bladder release). If you urinate often, but don’t have a full bladder, this could be a sign that there is pressure on the bladder, preventing it from filling fully. This pressure can be caused by pregnancy, tilted uterus, prolapsed uterus or bladder, fibroids, pelvic scar tissue, etc. This is also something that can be resolved, although the therapies vary depending on the cause.
Notice what food/drinks make you feel irritated, have ‘hot’ pee, or cause you to pee a lot (more than 8 times/day). This might indicate an infection, allergy, histamine response, or hypertonicity. Doesn’t have to be this way, say Brian & Stewie.
Bathroom Stuff: Tips on Pooping
Step the feet up so the knees are above the hips, mimicking a squat - which puts the colon in a more relaxed trajectory downward. The company Squatty Potty makes stools specifically for this purpose.
NEVER push or hold your breath. Not when pooping or lifting or laboring. Instead “blow out the birthday candles.” This is all about intelligently managing internal pelvic pressure. Many women get hemorrhoids from lifting heavy, or pushing in labor, or pushing while pooping in postpartum. Some women even cause their organs to prolapse.
Do you even remember pooping before cell phones? When’s the last time you left your phone behind while going to the bathroom? Do you realize that the blue light and the overstimulation increases cortisol and stimulates the sympathetic response, slowing down elimination? I’m not trying to be an asshole, but the addiction is real. How often are you touching your phone on the toilet, and then touching your face with your hands? When’s the last time you sanitized your phone? Just some thoughts…
Don’t let toxicity build. The goal is one easy solid poop in the morning, and less than that is constipation. I spoke about stress and rushing above, so how do you make sure that you get the bowels moving well?
Many strategies for preventing constipation:
Abdominal Massage/Bellywork - manual massage of the viscera and fascia of the abdomen is absolutely amazing. It is down-regulating and relaxing for the nervous system, it provides movement, which is the key ingredient in avoiding stagnancy. It greatly impacts lymph flow, as many of the nodes are in the abdomen. You can literally move material in the bowels by massaging clockwise - up the right and down the left. I massage women’s bellies every day, and its magical. Most typical massages ignore the abdomen, which is too bad. It’s revolutionary to have knowledgeable hands work your tissues, but if you can’t find a practitioner in your area, below is a video on my YouTube to guide you in a self massage. Here’s an essay too!
Castor oil + iodine packs - this practice breaks up adhesion, scar tissue, sluggishness, and chill in the abdomen and organs, promoting peristalsis (movement) and healthy apoptosis (detoxing of dead, dying, diseased, and mutated cells). Great for cyclical uterine and liver support as well.
Enemas - I do regular enemas in particular phases of my cycle when I tend to get constipated or over-burdened by toxicity, and it’s saved me. For some people this is a big stretch, but an intelligent and personalized enema protocol can be a game changer. There is a LOT of weird and unhelpful info out there, so beware on YouTube. Seek out support mmkay? (I’ll spare you the South Park clip I found…)
Bathroom Stuff: Tips on Bleeding
I’ve written a lot on this Substack about menstruation and womb wisdom, so I won’t go too in depth here. You can scroll all my essays here.
Rest while bleeding. This was never communicated to me as a girl, or woman for that matter, until relatively recently. It’s wise to observe female bodies as if they contain a 28 day battery, rather than (only) a 24 hour one. We have a biological rhythm of seasonality that’s similar to the cycles of the earth, and bleeding women are in their Winter Hibernation phase. This is called the Infradian Rhythm and I made a mini-course to help you learn to synch with your lunar body.
Don’t put things up there. For the cervix to open and release material freely, we must not block the way. Tampons are the worst, which impede flow and cause stagnation, not to mention most of them are laced with toxic chemicals. It’s a similar story with menstrual cups, they also block flow and unless a woman is diligent about sanitizing, they harbor harmful bacteria and toxicity. I give lots of advice about what to do instead in my last post:
Don’t let them cut you or drug you. If you go to the OBGYN for a PAP to check the health of your cervix, you might have abnormal cells on that day. The body is constantly healing, fluctuating, and changing. The PAP is a snapshot. It’s not a diagnosis. It’s not permanent, and there are many ways to heal your cervix without cutting her apart with LEEP and Biopsies. There are many ways to heal your cycle without chemical castration (that is what hormonal birth control is, make no mistake). If you’re reading this, you know you can CALL ME, and I will advise you on many ways you can heal yourself from cervical dysplasia, HVP, abnormal PAPs, pelvic pain, irregular cycles, or even ‘infertility’. Just remember that you can say NO THANK YOU, resist their fear tactics, and go do your own research.
Special Note to Moms of Daughters - putting young girls on HBC should be outlawed. These drugs interfere with the development of the reproductive system and can potentially have life-long consequences that may be worse than an unplanned pregnancy. Please talk to me if you want support educating your daughter about her fertility and natural family planning methods for preventing pregnancy. It’s one of the most empowering things we can do for our girls, to teach them about the magic of their cycles (rather than drug them and teach them to ignore or regret their femaleness).
Start doing preventative pelvic care with Yoni Steaming. Again, so often we are dealing with consequences of years and decades of poor circulation, flow and function of our pelvic organs and systems. Yoni Steaming is the most approachable, affordable, and universal way to support your life long reproductive and digestive health. There is literally nothing more time-tested, effective, and easy to begin. You ancestors did it, I guarantee it. Here’s a world map of ancient texts documenting Yoni Steaming in over 60 cultures on opposite sides of the globe! If you want to get started, get with me for a consultation before you begin, because a personalized protocol is necessary to avoid contraindications and to heal most effectively. This is totally appropriate for daughters and mothers to do together, and is a beautiful doorway into bigger conversations.
Bathroom Stuff: Don’t Spray Endocrine Disruptors (and you Won’t Gain Weight)
The Bathroom Sprays! The Plug-ins! Good God get me outta here! The fragrances that have become ubiquitous in almost all households, offices, and society at large are poisoning us BIG TIME. Not only that, we lay down fat to store all this toxicity. So, beautiful humans, please reconsider the bathroom odor issue with non-toxic alternatives that won’t throw off your daughter’s delicate endocrine development or your own perimenopausal hormone balance. Here’s a great conversation with Dr. Casey Means, author of one of my favorite books right now GOOD ENERGY, talking about How environmental chemicals are making us sick and fat.
DIY Room Spray Recipe:
Ingredients
16 oz glass spray bottle
4 oz rubbing alcohol, witch hazel, or vodka
50 drops lavender essential oil
40 drops rosemary essential oil
Distilled or boiled water
We are in an amazing moment in history!
We have no written history of a time when there was so much potential for health and empowerment for women on this planet. I am enthusiastic and hopeful for the future of women’s health, on the small and global scale. Our ancestors are all whooping and cheering us on, benefitting from the healing and deep personal journeys we are on to become whole.
I’m proud of you for all you’re doing to heal the wounds of humanity, including loving your inner maidens and acknowledging these pivotal stories.
Remember that so much is going right, that your body is always striving for wellness, and every detour is a potential learning opportunity. Stay strong yet soft. Love yourselves and all people. Put love first over identity, ideology, politics or belief. This is the best medicine for your body and your bowels alike.
love love,
Sarah WolfMother
Getting back to lemon water when I wake!! And will go to bathroom often , especially now pregnant - before it starts to hurt !!!
This is excellent. Super helpful. Grateful ❤️